If you are trying to get back your girlfriend, you'll have to approach the situation with a lot of care. Understand that a lot of feelings, both yours and hers were injured and that it will take a while for them to heal. A good deal of self control will be needed so that you won't stir up the old arguments that brought about the break up.
Here are some suggestions:
It really helps to reflect on the reason for the breakup and whether changes are possible that will improve your relationship. Can you do anything to guarantee that further breakups will not occur in the future? Compromise will certainly be needed. Will it be possible for you to live with them? Will she accept them? Knowing why the breakup happened will help you to avoid triggering the usual conflicts when you first try to get her back.
Two requirements will be essential that tend to be contradictory. On the one hand, it's very important that you maintain contact with her. On the other, you cannot get too aggressive since this may drive her further away. In fact, contact should be allowed to cool off some but not terminated.
You will have to let her know in a subtle and casual way that you still want to be a part of her life. Communication should be relaxed, casual, and not too frequent. Drop her the occasional "Hey, what's up" email but don't load up her inbox because you will come across as pushy, desperate, or needy.
Find harmless and positive ways that show that you are still thinking about her. Let her know that you care by remembering anniversaries and other important dates in her life. Send her a card on the holidays and on her birthday.
It's important not to allow yourself to be cut off from the world. Enjoy your other friendships and maintain a social life. This will help you to stay upbeat and confident. Your ex must never get the impression that you are falling apart over the break up.
You should be showing her that you're just fine but that you still care about her. This allows her to reassess the good times that you had together without feeling pressured.
Finally you must make the effort to be friends with her. This should recapture the good things that the both of you had and will create trust. This trust should strengthen and bring you both closer together.
There is no exact formula to winning back your girlfriend but these suggestions will steer you in the right direction. Maintaining contact with her is important but it's a balancing act that should be done subtly. Go too far and she may get scared away.
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